Lieve allemaal,

Na enkele weken van hectiek is de rust langzaam neergedaald.

Voordat ik deze nieuwsbrief begin, wil ik je één ding vragen. Mocht je tijdens het lezen iets gespiegeld voelen, iets waarin je jezelf herkent of denkt te herkennen, laat het dan bij jezelf. Ventileer het niet naar mij of naar anderen. Aannames ontstaan zelden vanuit helderheid. Helder denken vraagt onder andere om goede slaap, een rustige geest, vertrouwen en een hart dat niet wordt gestuurd door haat, jaloezie of angst.


Met mijn uitleg over het plots staken van enkele yogalessen is jullie integriteit op de proef gesteld. Voor sommigen bleek dat een mooie oefening, voor anderen misschien nog een moeilijke. De draad heb ik alweer eventjes geleden opgepakt en met veel plezier geef ik dan ook yoga waarin ik mijn professionaliteit aan jullie laat zien en geen behoefte heb aan delen.Terug naar de essentieVanaf vandaag hervat ik mijn yogalessen. En ik ga ze beginnen én beëindigen zonder babbels. Niet uit afstandelijkheid, maar juist uit respect.Want de gesprekken leverden jullie vaak niets op behalve aannames, en mij niets behalve vraagtekens door verkeerde interpretaties. De yogamat mag weer een plek worden waar stilte net zo waardevol is als beweging.Het pad dat we allemaal lopenBinnen de yogafilosofie en veel oosterse wijsheden bestaat het prachtige idee dat je vóór je geboorte een pad kiest: de lessen die je hier mag leren. Eenmaal geboren vergeten we dat, en begint de ervaring.We doen allemaal ons uiterste best om ons pad te bewandelen.Maar wat betekent zo goed mogelijk als je jouw eigen weg niet durft te gaan? Soms brengen onze copingmechanismen ons ontzettend ver. Tot het moment waarop ze niet meer voldoende zijn.Voor mij werd yoga daarom geen hobby, maar een levensweg. Samen met Ayurveda vormt het al ruim vijfentwintig jaar mijn anker.Ook ik ken traumaVijfentwintig jaar geleden studeerde ik aan de Snowlion School van Barbara Ann Brennan in Zwitserland. Ik ging op een middag een meditatie in vol rust… en kwam eruit in een diepe traumalaag waarvan ik niet wist dat die bestond.Soms kan één ervaring oude wonden openbreken.Ik heb het geluk gehad op te groeien in een warm en liefdevol gezin. Dat licht draag ik nog iedere dag met mij mee. Maar niet iedereen ontvangt die basis. En soms was de liefde er wel, maar kon je haar om welke reden dan ook niet ontvangen.Daarom oordeel ik nooit over het pad van een ander.Wat mij helpt als het leven veel vraagtIk krijg vaak de vraag wat ik doe om gelukkig te blijven. Geen wondermiddelen, geen perfect leven — alleen eenvoudige rituelen die mij telkens weer terugbrengen naar mezelf.Liefde. Niet de liefde van anderen, hoe kostbaar die ook is. De liefde die je voor jezelf durft te voelen. Alleen vanuit die plek kun je werkelijk aanwezig zijn voor een ander.Slaap. Ik val vrijwel altijd in slaap met een Yoga Nidra. Geen koffie in de avond (ik ben er heel gevoelig voor), geen alcohol en liever geen late maaltijden.Mijn lichaam verzorgen. Meestal douche ik koud, maar de afgelopen weken verlangde mijn lichaam juist naar lange warme douches. Meerdere keren per week geef ik mezelf een abhyanga: een warme oliemassage.Zonlicht. Mijn vitamine D komt niet uit een potje. Ik begin de dag graag buiten, met de zon op mijn huid, een kop koffie en stilte.Yoga en intentie. Iedere ochtend beweeg ik. Iedere dag eindig ik met een sankalpa — een intentie — vaak voorafgegaan door een korte wijsheid. Niet uit dwang. Doe ik het een week niet? Ook goed. Yoga leert mij juist om niets te forceren.Pauzes. Zonder telefoon. Zonder prikkels. Gewoon kijken, mijmeren, ademen.Verbinding. Met mensen, met de natuur en met mezelf. Alle drie zijn even belangrijk.Angst is geen raadgeverIk volg mijn gevoel. Altijd.Maar alleen wanneer het werkelijk helder is. Angst voelt vaak luid, intuïtie juist rustig. Als ik moe ben, kan ik oordelen. Als ik bang ben, kan ik aannames doen. Dat brengt zelden iets goeds voort.Genieten mag ookIk houd van eten. Van alle smaken in één maaltijd, zoals de Indiërs zo prachtig doen. En ik geniet van de Franse manier van samen tafelen tijdens een déjeuner.Eten moet niet alleen gezond zijn; het moet ook vreugde geven. Lust je iets echt niet, dan verteert het vaak ook niet.En ja… ik at de afgelopen dagen ook weleens waardeloos. Prima. Als je basis liefdevol is, kan je lichaam echt wel een stuk taart of een handje chips dragen. Leef normaal. Zonder schuldgevoel.Laat losLaat je ego wat zachter worden. Niet jezelf wegcijferen, maar de stem loslaten die altijd gelijk wil hebben, zich wil verdedigen of zich voortdurend vergelijkt.En laat ook los wat verslavend is. Dat hoeft geen sigaret of alcohol te zijn. Vraag jezelf liever af:Waar verlang ik werkelijk naar?De kracht van adem en stilteAdemhalingsoefeningen kunnen ons zenuwstelsel diep reguleren. Mediteren, bidden, stilzitten of simpelweg vervelen — de naam maakt niet uit. De uitwerking is vaak wonderlijk.Zorg voor planten in huis. Kijk hoe iets groeit. Hier zie ik na vier maanden droogte de moestuin weer tot leven komen. Misschien krijgen we toch nog courgettes. En de kumquats hangen er prachtig bij.Het zijn kleine dingen. Maar uiteindelijk is het leven opgebouwd uit kleine dingen.Tot slotVerzorg je tanden. Gebruik een tongschraper. Ga naar de tandarts. Zo simpel kan gezondheid soms ook zijn.Al deze eenvoudige gewoontes vragen geen perfectie, maar discipline. Juist op de dagen dat je geen zin hebt, ligt vaak de grootste oefening.Misschien is dat wel wat jarenlange yogabeoefening mij heeft gegeven: geen leven zonder stormen, maar een fundament waarop ik kan blijven staan wanneer ze komen.Blijf vertrouwen. 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